Saturday, September 15, 2007

People who shoot...

..Prairie dogs are ALL fucktarded shitwits. most of them are also FAT fucktarded shitwits ALL OF THEM. ALL. OF. THEM.

Posting from the "man room"

Thats right...I'm 99% finished with the Man Room, the first of our house remodelling projects.

I just hooked up this computer, and then crossed my fingers as the cable modem flickered to life...

(Yeah, I did the wiring for the modem and some of the wiring for the power down here)


Since the computer is down here, and I have a sweet audio setup down here, Karen might never see me again.

Sunday, September 09, 2007

sifl's blog - awesomeness

So there's this guy who posts on a music messageboard...he never says anything to me except to tell me I'm a fat lazy rock-shithead.

fair enough.

He maintains an awesome blog though:


he also is the Historian of Waffle Town.

Both blogs are worthy of checking out.


Friday, September 07, 2007

All Engineers are Moronic Assholes, Part 2

Another reason all engineers are moronic assholes: They think the entire field of geology can be summarized by: “its either a rock, or sand, or silt, or clay....nothing more.”

Let me put it another way, check out this awesome picture of the Jurassic Aztec Sandstone as it is exposed in a beautiful slot canyon (a favorite rock unit of anyone living out west!):

to an engineer this sandstone can be summarized like this:

poorly graded sand, indurated, has a strength of 25.

to a geologist:

a well sorted, medium grained sand. the sands have frosted grains and indicate that it was deposited by the wind. The wavelength, width, and geometry of the crossbeds can be used to determine windspeed, direction, and duration of sand deposition. The colors indicate the movement of groundwater through time. The scalloped and undulating outcrop patterns describe the method of its erosion. the slot canyon itself provides a direction and pattern of fracturing of the rock, its stratigraphic position with other rocks place it in temporal context. Its lateral juxtaposition with other rocks tell you where it was relative to mountains, to the sea, to other areas. fossils within it tell you its age, etc...

I could go on and on...There's so much contained in rocks, the story of the earth, a picture of the past, a story of how the earth came to be the way it is. Geology is truly more than sand, silt, and clay.

And I know what you fucking engineers are thinking: "Joe, who gives a shit about long flowery rock descriptions, how does knowing its age and where the wind was blowing 250 million years ago help me write this report?"

Well Mr. Engineer, all of those flowery descriptions, placed in context can be used as a predictive tool: knowing the stratigraphy can help you determine what you will expect to see in your next bore hole, and may help you determine if you even need to pay for the next borehole. The wind direction and crossbeds may influence groundwater flow, contaminant transport, and might indicate how to plan for seasonal fluctuations in the water table. fractures and patterns of fractures can help you with rock strength, and help you predict potential failure zones. Understanding the change in crossbed angles from deposition to compaction and lithification can tell you about strength, blah blah blah.

The point is, is that there's alot more to the story than an engineer can understand.

The fact that engineers can't see beyond sand, silt, and clay is probably the reason so many of them are loser creationists. Seriously. Go look on Answers in Genesis, or on the Discovery Institute websites....both of this bogus asshole creationist websites are chock full of "science" articles written by engineers who think they know what geology and biology are.

engineers, while being book-smart at times, have no concept of the scientific method, understanding the value of descriptive data, and have no idea how other scientific disciplines can provide valuable insight into their little bullshit projects.


bada NO TAKE BOY, DEN YOU DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All Engineers are Moronic Assholes

I'm starting a new angry, coffee fueled hate-session here at cataclasite: ALL Engineers are moronic Assholes.

I was going to make this a single post, but my gripe list about engineers continues to grow with each day that I have to work with them.

Now let me preface my new theme “all engineers are moronic assholes” by saying that All engineers are not moronic assholes. To be sure, I have several friends who are engineers, they are all great and they all tend to agree with me on the fact that “all engineers are moronic assholes”.

I apologize in advance if you are one of the one-in-a-million engineers who are not moronic and asshole.

I work with engineers, almost exclusively. Geotechnical, structural, and mine engineers. They are ALL moronic assholes.

Today's Example:

Previously I wrote about a field job that made me a bit nervous due to the large number of bears in the area, and the fact that most often I am mapping alone.

A week or two ago, I went back to that site to do some additional work, and had to meet up with a structural engineer who was helping out with the site. He’s younger, has waaay too much testosterone, and is generally a meat-headed shitwit.

So we go out into the field, and he says to me “yeah man, I ain’t walkin’ around without my gun”.

I didn’t really believe him and said “oh yeah? Heh..I think we’ll be ok”

But then he say’s “Yeah, its loaded and in the console here”.

I opened up the console, and sure enough there’s a loaded 9 mm semi-automatic handgun. Great. (he also had a 16" RAMBO knife under his driver seat dude, really cool)

We get to the site, get out, and prepare to go hiking around in the forest. I say “yeah man, we’ll only be out for like an hour or two, really no need to bring that”.

So he brings it. He doesn’t have a holster, so he just carries it in his right hand, with his finger resting on the trigger.

He keeps talking about how the bears are really bad, and how he’s gonna plug one of those fuckers if they get too close, and the entire time he’s walking behind me about 15 feet.

Let me put that in perspective: he’s walking behind me through the forest, there’s no trail so we frequently have to step over trees, or stumble down an embankment, or whatever, he’s got his finger on the trigger of a handgun, and he’s using it to point out directions, and passes the barrel so that it’s pointing at me briefly here and there. I keep thinking "this kid is gonna stumble on a fucking tree, he's gonna trip, pull the trigger and I'll end up having a bullet in my ass like Meriwether Lewis on the way back to St. Louis."

I don’t really like guns to begin with, and I went and shot a glock once…glocks, or at least some glocks don’t have safety’s…you just chamber a round and a little metal flange comes up and then you can start blowing shit away. I didn’t ask him what kind of gun he had, but he assured me that he hasn’t chambered a bullet.

Anyway, I’m walking along, and I just want to punch this shithead, he’s making me nervous with his pussy-bullshit handgun, and that’s when he really gets stupid: you see, in the area, there’s a lot of open range cattle, and yes, while cattle are very big, they don’t move and you can walk up pretty close to them before you realize they are there.

So we startle a few cattle, and each time he raises up the gun. Each time I have to say “dude, relax, it’s a fucking cow”.

Needless to say, only a fucking desk pushing moronic asshole engineer would walk around waving a handgun because he’s too chickenshit to walk in the woods with a badass geologist.

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? …it’s a gun…