Friday, March 28, 2008


So I'm out here working on a field job. Like most people I'm a creature of the morning, I drink some coffee, and before I leave the hotel I refill my coffee cup with the lobby coffee and put the coffee in the console of the truck we're driving.

I'll sip that coffee part of the morning, but mainly at about 12:00 to 1:00 pm, I'll swill that shit...even if its cold. It has the right amount of caffiene to keep me going for the day.


My coworker smokes. its pretty shitty. but. I go to take my daily early-afternoon sip of cold coffee, I get two full gulps in, when I realize that it tastes like a fucking ashtray. My coworker was putting his cigarette butts into my fucking daily coffee.

needless to say I spent the majority of my afternoon chewing gum like Jim Carry in "ace ventura pet detective" when he realizes that einhorn is finkle.

THe wife even called me after work and I was laying on the hotel bed with the lights off just thinking "ok, seriously, if I just puke now, get it out, I'll feel better" I was seriously contemplating sticking the finger down my throat to rid myself of the fucking poison SHIT that was infesting my stomach and small intestine.

instead, I went to a bar and had a navaho taco and a few pale ale micro brews. which, in the end was a little better than puking.

but still.

srsly people, lets fucking quit fucking with people's fucking coffee.


Karen said...

Why didn't you tell me this when I called? That's disgusting. I'm sure the pale ales cleansed any lingering poison. LOL

Andrew said...

Ha, I check out your blog and your talking shit. Like to remind you that it was 5pm when I put that in there not early afternoon. Who drinks cold 12 hour old coffee. You would gladly drink cig coffee everyday if you knew what I was putting in there earlier in the week.....

Collin said...

Brutal. I have inadvertently consumed a few buts in my day and its never pleasant. Better than drinking someones chew spit though I suppose.

jay said...

That's what you get for being a coffee drinker. Punk.

Mom said...

Well. alcohol is a fairly effective antimicrobial.

Your co-worker just might be seriously disturbed. Perhaps it's unrequited love. What's next will he try to boil a rabbit in your coffee?